Feasting: fun for you, not so fun for your machine.
At EMPIST we believe that Thanksgiving should be spent with family, friends, and of course, plenty of food. But try as you might to stay offline when turkey day comes around, we know that some of you just won’t be able to help but sneak a peek – or two – at your devices.
So, for those of you who insist on logging on even on your day off (or for those EMPIST engineers who work tirelessly to provide 24/7/365 service), let this be a warning to you: do not, under any circumstances, get dinner on your machine.
Here are Thanksgiving dishes ranked in order from how bad it would be if you spilled them on your computer:
As far as computer catastrophes go, dropping a roll on your machine ranks pretty low on our list. Usually dry and solid, there’s little to no chance of sticky keys or fried chips if your drop a bit of bread. Be wary, however, of seedy whole grains getting caught in your keyboard, or even worse – butter.
Much like the rolls before them, turkey doesn’t pose too much of a threat to the integrity of your device. However, greasy wings, sticky skin, and *gasp* gravy could quickly prove problematic if you’re not careful.
First of all, let us point out that green beans are nowhere near good enough to be a multitasking food. Whatever task you need to complete, the green beans can wait until you’re done; They’ll be just as average after you’ve finished your task.
That being said, depending on the preparation, green bean spillage might prove problematic. Eat with caution – or, honestly, not at all.
Now we’re talking! From cornbread to classic, the traditional thanksgiving stuffing ranges as widely in consistency as it does in flavor. Usually full of bits and pieces, however, stuffing is where spillage starts to get particularly risky. The right chunk of celery in the wrong place could spell disaster if you’re not careful.
Mac and Cheese
Delicious and dangerous! Molten cheese is notoriously hard to clean, no matter the surface on which it is spilled. Hardware beware.
Somewhat akin to the mac and cheese before it, the gloopy texture of mashed potatoes does not lend itself well to maintaining machine integrity. And the requisite urge to shove mashed potatoes in your mouth with wild abandon at every opportunity probably doesn’t help, either.
Use restraint when eating potatoes and working, we beg you.
One word: marshmallows. You know it’s not gonna end well!
In this list, we don’t save dessert for last. The thing that makes pumpkin pie a risk to your PC is the combination of textures: the silky-smooth filling can seep into cracks and ruin your infrastructure, the crumbly crust can get stuck in openings and fill up your keyboard, and the whipped cream will simply make a giant mess.
And here’s where things get taken up a notch. Whether you’re a fan of jelly or homemade varietals, spilling enough cranberry sauce on your machine will surely cause some damage. Lookout!
While some may consider it more of a topping than a true dish, gravy is essential to the Thanksgiving experience, if only insofar as it will essentially trash your machine if you spill some on top.
Rounding out the worst-of-the-worst, splashing wine on your computer will, inevitably, wreck your hardware. To make things worse, the more you have the more likely you are to slip up, making this dinner staple are #1 worst Thanksgiving dish to spill on your tech.
Honorable Mention: Leftovers
We would be remiss if we didn’t mention the best Thanksgiving food of them all – the leftovers. Of course, the damage will vary depending on the exact composition of your day-after plate, but the emotional loss of wasting a precious, once-a-year dish will make this spill sting all that much more.
Meet the Clean-Up Crew
Is ranking Thanksgiving food by how bad it would ruin your computer a silly endeavor? Some might think so.
But not us.
At EMPIST, we know that the tech issues you face aren’t always cut and dry. From the big to the messy, our expert team is prepared to help you solve problems no matter their nature – or on what day they occur. To learn more about EMPIST IT Managed Services, visit us online today!
And please, for the sake of engineers everywhere, be careful with your machines!